[ Mostly, she thinks, it's because she pieces herself together by watching others. She wonders how similar November is in that case. Maybe everyone does the same, Contractor or not. Somehow, she feels this may be the most civil conversation they have had in a while. ]
I was hoping for retirement. But as they say, there's no rest for the wicked.
[ So does she. That flicker of expression catches her by surprise. Could it be a trick of the light or something more? She thinks she has seen something similar before. In the mirror. ]
[ Her only downfall will be turning back time too much for Hei's sake. That's less like a normal retirement for them. It's her choice. ]
I'm not sure, I haven't gotten a good read on her yet. Why do you ask?
[ He sure is disliking Honey more and more. All he can think about is how it didn't make sense. How it was unnecessary. The CDC saw recruits as replaceable, but why murder them like that? His jaw clenches, expression darkening for longer than he'd normally allow. ]
[ Her one downfall, but is that really a downfall? She prides herself on it being a victory.
Amber traces the rim of her cup absently, eyes fixed on the slow ripples on the surface of her tea as if they might yield the answers to the world's greatest mysteries. She isn't the one with answers this time, only questions. ]
It's beneficial to be liked by one's superior. You, of all people, should know that.
[ Maybe one day she will remember not to open old wounds. ]
Why did he say sorry? "For the first time in ever." I can't get it out of my mind.
[ Is it really a victory if she wasn't around to see it? ]
I do. I've no plans to make Honey dislike me.
[ Though she might be more of a task than Decade. At least his MI6 superior had an investment of some sort. They'd built a relationship over years (one that shattered in less than a day–) and kept up with each other. Honey, he's not sure where to start. She's all over the place to him. Dagger had been more clear cut. ]
[ A Contractor should say that no, it isn't. She says it is.
Dagger was surprisingly easy to win over. She thinks that he was readily inclined to like those who belong to his team, even if he might have a strange way of showing it. But when push comes to shove, she knows he would stand between them and danger. Honey is a wildcard, which makes her all the more difficult to please, but she is also childish. ]
Dagger. When he announced the punishments.
[ She leans back and crosses her arms in front of her. ]
She would bring down the entire ship to get ahead.
[ Honey is a loose cannon. One that he doesn't know what direction she'll head in next. The hierarchy of the CDC is somewhat murky. After instructor, it's probably heading for Captaincy. Going up against Gliese after taking Dagger down doesn't seem like an intelligent maneuver. Not when he knows how close they'd been.
When he knows that Gliese can take out an entire planet on her own. Dagger hadn't had that rank. ]
I'm not sure. Something's happening in the background that we're not seeing.
[ He has suspicions, but nothing grounded. ]
She certainly hasn't done much to endear herself to the crew. I've no doubts she'd pull the trigger if it came to it.
[ Though hasn't she already? To Dagger, and he's sure, so certain, that she did in the other recruits. That she murdered April to get her way. The thought sticks. For a moment he clenches his jaw, expression darkening. Anger sits in the back of his throat, threatening.
He won't give it a voice here, but will he really need to? ]
[ Nothing is certain, but they are both used to dealing with more questions than answers. The right questions, often enough, can be enough to help one make a choice. That's what really matters in the end. Questions such as who killed April? Who possibly could?
Only three names come to mind: Havoc, Hei or Honey. But the first seems to have lost her taste for vengeance, while the second may seek to prevent revenge but it's unlikely that he would take action without any provocation or without November noticing. That leaves only one name that she leaves unsaid, because she knows her company has come to the same conclusion too.
What piques her interest, however, is the way he tenses, anger palpable in the air between them. But there's no point here in feigning emotions even if he does it so well. Too well. He doesn't even seem like he's pretending. It takes one to know one, as they say.
Amber tips her head to one side, eyes narrowing in suspicion. ]
Havoc has been carefully making connections with the people he knows, he's noticed that. Hei came back, but he's different. His attitude has changed drastically.
November doubts he has it in him to murder April now. Not after their conversation.
One other name floats in his mind. Part of why he's holding it back is that it feels like a scapegoat. Someone to simply blame so he has a face to dislike. But that doesn't make any sense. Anger clouds.
Except that's exactly what he is. It's a burning sense he can't shake. Combined with frustration and the lack of being able to do anything about it only makes it worse. ]
I nearly lost her once. She would've never wanted it like this.
[ The first thought that comes to her head: how sentimental.
People like them die all the time. Only the strongest or the cleverest survive. There's no point in mulling over a death one wants because no one wants to die. That's the point. There's no such thing as a more meaningful end or a happier death because once you lose, you're out of the game. But it isn't as if Amber doesn't understand the sentiment, only that-- it's a sentiment.
Then again, November has always been a special case. She likes him for that. ]
That time, it was to get to you. [ Does that make it any better? ] This time . . . I wonder.
Somewhere, he knew he'd miss April if anything had happened to her. But this wasn't how he envisioned it happening. This was more than he thought he'd have to deal with.
Amber's words don't help the situation, and for a split second, he looks like he's angry. ]
Maybe the same. [ The anger curbs, expression going more flat. ] Or just another death on another day here.
[ Amber watches him as one might a poisonous snake, ready to flee should he suddenly decide to strike. They aren't allies, not exactly, but neither are they enemies. Somewhere in between. It probably changes every second, with every word they choose to say, revelations she chooses to make. But he knew that, he knew her motives even then. ]
If the former, you know not to heed it. But if the latter?
[ What if it really was meaningless? Random falling leaves. No pattern to follow, no intrigue behind the murders. Just another day at the CDC. ]
[ He wants to continue being angry, to show how upset he is, even if it defies logic right now. Instead, he breathes out. A slow exhalation that almost sounds like defeat.
(it isn't, logic is just once more dictating it's a useless effort right now). ]
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no subject
I was hoping for retirement. But as they say, there's no rest for the wicked.
no subject
You should know Contractors don't retire. We're almost always leaving in a body bag.
[ Like April has. The thought makes him frown, a flicker of grief passing over his expression. ]
no subject
Not me.
[ Defiant. Hasn't she always been? ]
Does Honey dislike you?
no subject
[ Her only downfall will be turning back time too much for Hei's sake. That's less like a normal retirement for them. It's her choice. ]
I'm not sure, I haven't gotten a good read on her yet. Why do you ask?
[ He sure is disliking Honey more and more. All he can think about is how it didn't make sense. How it was unnecessary. The CDC saw recruits as replaceable, but why murder them like that? His jaw clenches, expression darkening for longer than he'd normally allow. ]
no subject
Amber traces the rim of her cup absently, eyes fixed on the slow ripples on the surface of her tea as if they might yield the answers to the world's greatest mysteries. She isn't the one with answers this time, only questions. ]
It's beneficial to be liked by one's superior. You, of all people, should know that.
[ Maybe one day she will remember not to open old wounds. ]
Why did he say sorry? "For the first time in ever." I can't get it out of my mind.
no subject
I do. I've no plans to make Honey dislike me.
[ Though she might be more of a task than Decade. At least his MI6 superior had an investment of some sort. They'd built a relationship over years (one that shattered in less than a day–) and kept up with each other. Honey, he's not sure where to start. She's all over the place to him. Dagger had been more clear cut. ]
What do you mean?
no subject
Dagger was surprisingly easy to win over. She thinks that he was readily inclined to like those who belong to his team, even if he might have a strange way of showing it. But when push comes to shove, she knows he would stand between them and danger. Honey is a wildcard, which makes her all the more difficult to please, but she is also childish. ]
Dagger. When he announced the punishments.
[ She leans back and crosses her arms in front of her. ]
She would bring down the entire ship to get ahead.
no subject
When he knows that Gliese can take out an entire planet on her own. Dagger hadn't had that rank. ]
I'm not sure. Something's happening in the background that we're not seeing.
[ He has suspicions, but nothing grounded. ]
She certainly hasn't done much to endear herself to the crew. I've no doubts she'd pull the trigger if it came to it.
[ Though hasn't she already? To Dagger, and he's sure, so certain, that she did in the other recruits. That she murdered April to get her way. The thought sticks. For a moment he clenches his jaw, expression darkening. Anger sits in the back of his throat, threatening.
He won't give it a voice here, but will he really need to? ]
no subject
Only three names come to mind: Havoc, Hei or Honey. But the first seems to have lost her taste for vengeance, while the second may seek to prevent revenge but it's unlikely that he would take action without any provocation or without November noticing. That leaves only one name that she leaves unsaid, because she knows her company has come to the same conclusion too.
What piques her interest, however, is the way he tenses, anger palpable in the air between them. But there's no point here in feigning emotions even if he does it so well. Too well. He doesn't even seem like he's pretending. It takes one to know one, as they say.
Amber tips her head to one side, eyes narrowing in suspicion. ]
What's the matter, November?
no subject
Havoc has been carefully making connections with the people he knows, he's noticed that. Hei came back, but he's different. His attitude has changed drastically.
November doubts he has it in him to murder April now. Not after their conversation.
One other name floats in his mind. Part of why he's holding it back is that it feels like a scapegoat. Someone to simply blame so he has a face to dislike. But that doesn't make any sense. Anger clouds.
Except that's exactly what he is. It's a burning sense he can't shake. Combined with frustration and the lack of being able to do anything about it only makes it worse. ]
I nearly lost her once. She would've never wanted it like this.
no subject
People like them die all the time. Only the strongest or the cleverest survive. There's no point in mulling over a death one wants because no one wants to die. That's the point. There's no such thing as a more meaningful end or a happier death because once you lose, you're out of the game. But it isn't as if Amber doesn't understand the sentiment, only that-- it's a sentiment.
Then again, November has always been a special case. She likes him for that. ]
That time, it was to get to you. [ Does that make it any better? ] This time . . . I wonder.
no subject
Somewhere, he knew he'd miss April if anything had happened to her. But this wasn't how he envisioned it happening. This was more than he thought he'd have to deal with.
Amber's words don't help the situation, and for a split second, he looks like he's angry. ]
Maybe the same. [ The anger curbs, expression going more flat. ] Or just another death on another day here.
no subject
If the former, you know not to heed it. But if the latter?
[ What if it really was meaningless? Random falling leaves. No pattern to follow, no intrigue behind the murders. Just another day at the CDC. ]
no subject
[ He wants to continue being angry, to show how upset he is, even if it defies logic right now. Instead, he breathes out. A slow exhalation that almost sounds like defeat.
(it isn't, logic is just once more dictating it's a useless effort right now). ]
Life goes on. As always.